Satire & Humor

#NowHiring: Fake husband on temp basis

My mom wants me to get married ASAP and it’s stressing me out.

SO #nowhiring: fake husband on temp basis willing to have a fake marriage and 2 fake babies and buy a fake house in a fake suburb.

-Willing to travel and be available 1 weekend/month in SF Bay Area for show and tell with parents

-Willing to have a fake divorce once we find the real husband. You’ll get fake custody of the 2 fake kids and fake house afterwards

-Must be Chinese, ages 31-34, and a doctor. Psychologists do not count. May consider attorneys or engineers.

-Demonstrate stability, strong work ethic, and good income generation

-Fluency in Cantonese, Mandarin, and Shanghainese preferred

-Above all must be very nice. Personality or interests outside of work not required

-Love, chemistry, compatibility, respect, trust, and sharing of values not required