Jennifer: What’s the secret to long life? Grandma: You have my genetics. Jennifer: What’s the most important thing in life? Grandma: Everything is important. Nothing is important. Jennifer: What did you like to do when you were young? Grandma: There was no like. I just did what was here. (After thinking) I liked chemistry. I wanted to study it in university. But then the Japanese invaded China during World War II and I went back home. Jennifer: Why did you marry late in life? Grandma: I don’t know. Jennifer: How did you meet your husband? Did you marry for love, or was it arranged? Grandma: We were introduced. It was…
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11 things you learn before turning 30
1. You realize and accept your own mediocrity You probably aren’t going to “change the world.” Even if you do, you know that the likelihood that any one thing you do will be more than temporary is pretty low. 2. You stop needing to be the special snowflake You stop needing to post all the goddam time on Facebook trying to prove how amazing/successful/loved/beautiful you are. 3. You realize that the greatest impacts are the smallest. Like saying hi to your neighbor and sharing a smile. Holding a puppy. The days you are actually excited to get out of bed. 4. You get hotter Regardless of your…
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How friends react when you’re 21 vs. 29 and single
How friends react when you’re 21 and single: “I know a guy! He’s really cute.” How friends react when you’re 29 and single: “I know a guy! He’s getting divorced. Actually, he’s still married. But he’ll be divorced soon. Really.”
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I don’t want to be around these kinds of people
I don’t want to be around people who judge lifestyles or careers as “mediocre”/”normal” vs excellent. Or “corporate” vs. “free.” Or life/world-changing vs. not life/world-changing. These are all false dichotomies. I mean, it’s like, “normal” in relation to what? Normal compared to a 30-year-old Google employee? Normal compared to a 10-year-old kid in the Congo forced into child labor? Life-changing compared to what? Compared to Elon Musk? Compared to the security guard down the street who always greets everyone with a friendly smile? Compared to the tree that gives you oxygen to breathe every day? Free compared to who? To a rich person who feels trapped by responsibility? To a…
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Hi, I’m a recovering personal development addict
Hi, I’m Jennifer, a recovering personal development addict from San Francisco. For years, I struggled to develop a sense of self-worth. I never felt like I was reaching my potential. I looked at my peers, and it seemed like I was the only one not deadlifting 1,000 pounds, making $58,000 in one hour, or invited to Leonardo DiCaprio’s yacht party every Saturday night. I bought course after course. I spent thousands of dollars on coaches who promised results — but mostly got me an emptier bank account. Anytime I read sales copy, I couldn’t resist the urge to click the shiny button that said “YES! I want to double my…
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#NowHiring: Fake husband on temp basis
My mom wants me to get married ASAP and it’s stressing me out. SO #nowhiring: fake husband on temp basis willing to have a fake marriage and 2 fake babies and buy a fake house in a fake suburb. REQUIREMENTS: -Willing to travel and be available 1 weekend/month in SF Bay Area for show and tell with parents -Willing to have a fake divorce once we find the real husband. You’ll get fake custody of the 2 fake kids and fake house afterwards -Must be Chinese, ages 31-34, and a doctor. Psychologists do not count. May consider attorneys or engineers. -Demonstrate stability, strong work ethic, and good income generation -Fluency in…
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All relationships are a mirror
I’ve been playing with the concept lately that all relationships and experiences are simply a mirror of your own internal landscape. So, thinking about how my relationships have either been with commitment-phobic men or overly possessive men. I could get angry about this and blame the low quality of men out there. But the reality is, these men are just manifestations of my internal landscape. Because internally I may have a belief that I’m unworthy of love, which attracts men who also believe the same (and display it with fear of commitment or possessiveness). Like attracts like. Even more trippy is thinking that if I can change my internal belief…
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The loneliness of travel
I like the loneliness of travel. The loneliness of home comes with judgment. When I feel alone at home, I imagine that everyone else Is connecting and meeting and attending amazing parties and events. And I’m the one person who isn’t, the only one not building my network, not having transformative conversations, not making a social impact on the world, not invited. But when I travel, of course I am alone. Of course I don’t have lots of friends. Of course I don’t have parties to attend. And if I do, great! I’m a traveler, and whatever I experience is not only OK – it’s to be expected. And, I…
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Follow your passion. And screw following your passion.
Follow your passion. Screw following your passion. Do what you’re good at. Do what you are. No, do what you love. Do something. Do anything. Slow down and do nothing. Follow your curiosity. Learn to focus. Focus on the right things. Stop focusing, open yourself to new things. Trust yourself. Trust the system. Trust my science. Trust my research. Trust your instinct. Trust your intuition. Trust no one. Trust the universe. Build a system. Build habits. Build routines. Be open to randomness. Spend money on experiences, not things. No, get more money so you can have more. Chuck it all, sell it all, and travel the world. Learn a new…
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Stop waiting until you have your degree to “help people”
Stop waiting until you have your medical, nursing, or law degree to help people. Since when did “helping people” have to be this thing that only doctors, nurses, and lawyers do? Are we really so brainwashed to believe that humans are incapable of helping others unless they have a graduate degree? Or they’re wearing a professional uniform, or sitting behind a fancy desk? In fact, doctors, nurses, and lawyers are some of the LAST people I want to regularly meet to get their help. First, they cost $$$. Second, it means I’ve fucked up my life or body somehow. Third, have you ever been to a hospital or law office?…
